Jordan Mentz

When I walk with you my king/and I give you all I have/I know you are smiling down at me/I try so many times to do/what you want me to/but there have been many instances/where I have fallen down but you have helped me up/

I can see you/smiling down on me/as I remember that I am your child/you are the father/I have always needed/you have filled the longing in my soul/and I choose to lead a life of worship/in everything I do I want your name to be magnified/

I don’t know why the Lord/chooses to use others/to minister to me/and I feel privileged/that I have the chance/for you to use me/but it is you moves through where I am/and it is you who works/through the things I say or do/

I don’t understand how you could smile/down on me in light/of the ways I’ve hurt you/and the love you have shown me/goes deeper than my ocean/the grace you gave me/has shown me how to love you/as you love the church

You are a father to the fatherless/and like refuge for the hopeless/and I can see you working/not only in my life but in my world around me/and I need to have the same mindset/as you do to be there when the world/doesn’t seem to care/I want to be a father to fatherless/just as you are/ There are so many people/who need the love of a father/and only you can be the father/they are looking for on the inside/so many times they know the fear of rejection/and they are familiar with dejection/so I am asking for you to be a father to them/and I want them to live free/ Father to the fatherless you are/hope to the hopeless you are/lover to the ones who have felt unloved/so many times this world just assumes/that everyone has a loving father/and thy just presume that life just resumes/as normal even amidst all the things the people have seen/ Do they know love/until they have felt loved/do they know how to show love/until they have been shown the deepest kind of love/how can they hope for this kind of love/until they have been shown hope/do they realize what love is/without feeling it/and can they believe love/without seeing love at work/

Will I ever find what I am looking for/there are times when I know/exactly what I am searching for/and there are others/when I am just searching for myself/I am beginning to realize/this life is not about me/and me trying to find myself/in the things that I hold onto/and I often lose myself/while I am looking to other things. You have found me/just the way I am/and I can rest in the fact/that you have searched for me/and you found me/while I was looking for myself/and it is then I realize/how selfish looking out for myself is/and then I understand that life is about/what I can do for you/and I want to bring glory to your name/ I find myself chasing after/the things of this world/and trying to find myself in what/in what I do on earth/and when I run out of places to search/why is it then I come running to you for answers/and there is something about you/that allows me to find myself/in your presence/because I am part of your family/ Looking for myself is useless/because you have found me/at the end of my rope/and I am searching for new ways/to find you in the things/I was looking for myself in/teach me to see your reflection/in the things that I was looking for my own in/and teach me to reflect you/in everything I find meaning to.

I am looking forward to beginning/a new stage in this life/I know that with each thing/that I need to let go of/you will bring me close/and I know that God will make a way/and I am only just beginning this/time of new beginnings/so many times I wonder/is this all there is? I realize my life is full of new beginnings/and I embrace them.

As I grow further from familiarity/and enter into a new realm/the steps I choose to take/away from everything that I’ve known/and when my life feels so foreign to me/I know you are teaching me/that living for you/is full of new beginnings/and I want all that you have for me/so with each step I take/the way seems so different/

I am beginning to see that/a life of comfort/is not full of new beginnings/and if I want to see what lies around the bend/I need to trust you/to embrace your truth/and I need you to pull me away/from the things that I have/become so accustomed to/and the things that have been a way of life/and I am beginning to see what life is about/

As I grow older and this way of life/is becoming so distant/each choice I make/is full of new beginnings/so I ask myself could this be/a new beginning that/I am just beginning to see/so many times/I want to live beyond my dreams/and I know there are new beginnings/and I want to make a difference/in this world’s philosophy/

I ask myself so many times/what is man that would make you mindful of him/and make him the ruler of the earth/that you would care enough about me/to kill your son upon that lonely tree/my sins have caused you so much pain/but I continue to live in them/

Since I was a child/my mind rejoiced/because of your majestic name/and when I mess up/I cannot grasp the fact/you were thinking of me/before I was even thought in your mind/so many times I remember that/I am precious to you/and many times that doesn’t change the things I say or do/

The earth you have placed/under the feet of man/and I will remember who I am in you/everything you created was meant to bring you glory/and how many times have I got that turned around/thinking this life is for my enjoyment/and I lose sight of who you are/and I know I forget why I am here/

The birds of the air/the beasts of the field/the flocks and herds/were made to bring you honor/and the glory that you are due/I am alive today because of your son/and I am worth more/than this world tells me/I was worth you sending your son to die for me/and I rest in this/I love you and I will never forget/what you have done to set me free.

O LORD , our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory above the heavens. From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise because of your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger. When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor. You made him ruler over the works of your hands; you put everything under his feet: all flocks and herds, and the beasts of the field, the birds of the air, and the fish of the sea, all that swim the paths of the seas. O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! Psalms 8:1-9 (NIV)

I have been wandering/from this path I have traveled/I am trying to forget/all the things that should’ve been/the times I should’ve said this/when I have backed away from speaking words of truth/ My attitude should have been putting others first/my thinking should’ve been different/but instead of dwelling on what I should’ve been/I choose to focus on the chosen one/and I know you can save me/ I can look back/and look at what I have been/but I may miss the present/dwelling on the past/I have been spotted/rescued and redeemed/when all hope seemed lost/and I know you don’t remember who I have been/because I have repented and turned from my sinful life/ I have been lost for so long/but you have placed within my heart a song/a feeling of hope, love and forgiveness/and it is then I realize who you’ve been to me/and I want to grow close to you again.

If I were to let go/of everything I thought I needed/I find you were all i needed/you have been there for me/when I thought I had nothing left/I received the gift of life/and included in that gift was/the freedom that I have in you/if I ran away/and turned my back on you/you would still accept me/when I decide to come running home/

If I were in the drivers seat/I would mess up my life/not knowing where I am going/there are many things that you see/that I can’t see because/I am not you and I don’t know/what is going to happen to me/I want my life to reflect/your sacrifice that you gave me/in the ay I live my life/
You want what’s best for me/teach me what it means to dream/and to trust you with my life/not thinking about what I have done/but may I live my life/If I were yours/I am yours but I want to give you more/than I have been giving you/I don’t want to hide anything from you/because I want to submit/

Can I give you my fears/my hope for tomorrow/can I let you cry my tears/I cannot believe you want me/and have accepted my imperfections/and your blood has washed me clean/I am clean before you/and I think I have let too many opportunities slip away/but you still give me grace/

Psalms 139:1-24 (NIV) O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD. You hem me in–behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you. If only you would slay the wicked, O God! Away from me, you bloodthirsty men! They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name. Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD, and abhor those who rise up against you? I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies. Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

If I try to hide from you/you are there to find me/and if I try to I try to fly away on the wings of the dawn/and if I try to sleep in depths/you are there with me/and I can not understand how you can/hem me behind and before/such knowledge is too lofty for me to attain/

If I try to run from you/you come and chase me down/you know when I fall asleep/and when I feel like I am so far away/I know you have me in your palm. I cannot help but praise you for your eyes/saw my unformed body/and all the days ordained for me/were written in your book/before one of them came to be/

Your eyes have seen my unformed body/before I became a thought/so many times/I want to praise you/because of your mercy/honor and glory/I realize how wonderfully made/and my frame was not hidden from you/when I was in that secret place/you know me and created my inmost being.

There are so many things/that you know about me/and so many times/I have forgot to remember who I am/and even more times/I have been caught in the moment/and I seem to leave you somewhere out of my life/but I want you back/and I come running to you/to feel your embrace.

This life is a dark ocean/and I cannot see the rocks underneath the surface/at night I cannot see when the waves are coming/but when I am looking upon the horizon/for something to provide me with/a shimmer of hope/in the midst of this confusion/

You are my lighthouse/and I can see you/when the waves are crushing me/and I know that there is light amidst/admist the heartache the times when it seems to stormy/the lighthouse provides me with a beacon of hope.

Help me Lord to see the lighthouse/when I feel like giving up on life/help me to see the rocks under the surface/because if I get caught on them/I don’t know what I would do/I know it would give me more to trust you with/If this really was reality

I know you are the hope/in the sea of life I am sitting in/I know you are the light in this ocean I am swimming in/and I don’t know how to explain/all the pain I haven’t let you have control of/

Lord you died upon Calvary,
I ask myself did you do this for me?
There are many times I wonder,
Did I take what I could and did I steal your thunder?
When I look at the cross and see you dying
I cannot see because I am too busy crying.
I don’t know why your love was so great
You rescued me from living in a stagnant state.
There are many times when I mess up
But your love overflows and fills my cup.
When you gave your son to die for me,
I asked the question this love how can it be?
There was love crucified on the tree,
The reason was so that I could be free
Three days later love rose again,
The reality hit me, love died for my sin.
Lord on Calvary, you crucified your son to give me life
Now I see there is so much more than a spoon, fork and knife.
I cannot understand why you couldn’t wave a wand,
Or say a word and create me from the grains of sand.
On the cross death did not win,
You have forgiven me time and time again.
You died so that I may live with you,
There are times when I forget to do the things you’ve called me to.
The times are getting hard and I feel like giving up,
The walk is getting tougher, but carry me and fill my cup.
What greater love has no man than this,
How many times do I deny you with a kiss?