Jordan Mentz

I sometimes wonder why I go through the things I do
There are other times I tell myself that’s just the way it is
Why does life have to be so hard, is it just me
Why have I felt abandoned by the one who would never leave me
Have I mistaken my trust in the creator with a dependence on myself
There are so many things in this world I have yet to understand
I don’t want there to be anything between me and my creator
I don’t want my version of what is true to collide with the truth
There have been times when I have tried to figure life out
Fell flat on my face before you, and you told me that you loved me
You lifted my head told me that you wanted the best for me
How many times have I tried to live this life on my own
Forsaken grace and ignored the love that you have shown
If it was left up to me to make it by myself
I would give up, and throw in the towel
I didn’t know what it meant to love until you showed me the cross
You wanted to embrace me but I pushed your arms away
Told you that I wanted to try a different way
You didn’t want to see me run
You wanted for me to come home
I didn’t want to acknowledge the fact I am weak
I chose not let you come close and heal my heart
Then I tried to blame you for not caring
I know that it was all my fault but it was hard for me to see
I understand the reason that anyone would want to spend time with me
You told me that I was your child, and that you wanted to hold my heart
I didn’t know if I could trust you, because the world has let me down
It was then that I realized that you would never fail me
You have been my truest friend and have been there in it all
I didn’t see you because I was blinded by the things that kept me from you
I want to come back I want to learn how to crawl back into your lap
You told me it was going to be ok, but I didn’t believe you
I want to trust you, and I want to put my confidence in who you are
I know I still have a ways to go, but teach me to trust you one day at a time

You’re asking me to take the next step
While all the while I am thinking I am content where I am at
I thought you told me that you would never leave me
I thought you would meet me where I was at

You told me all these things
You told me to rest in your promises
You told me that it was going to be ok in the end
You told me that you wanted me to trust you

I wanted to turn to you, but instead I turned my back
I wanted to run back to you, but again I turned the other way
You’re offering me your hand, You’re offering me your grace
When I feel all is lost help me remember I was made in that special place

My days are not hidden from you and you want me to come
You want me to take the next step and you’ll lead me
All I need to do is accept that your hand will guide
All I want to do is let you lead and walk beside me

The world can be scary at times and I get overwhelmed
Then you remind me that nothing is beyond you
I try to live on my own and try to make a name for myself
I realize that it won’t help, because works won’t get me anywhere nothing is beyond you
There are times when I struggle to take another step
Knowing that you are there holding my heart and nothing is beyond you
The times I fail and have trouble identifying what is true about me
Even when I mess up, nothing is beyond you
I try so many times to hide from the plan you have for me
But you use me because nothing is beyond you
There are times when I can’t help but cry because I miss you,
Help me rest in the fact nothing is beyond you
I want to make a difference but I don’t know where to go
You tell me to follow where you lead me and nothing is beyond you
Trying to see past the end of the reality
Continue to show me that nothing is beyond you
There have times where I have doubted you or could it be I doubted myself
You gently remind me that nothing is beyond you.