Jordan Mentz

There are times when I want to be held close…there seems to be no one to hold me…
Other times I want nothing to do with love…all I need is a simple pat on the shoulder…
When I need it most I tend to push love away…what has my life become…
I turn my back and walk the other way…what has come between us…
Why does it seem that when I need to feel loved…I pretend that I don’t
Love so easily escapes me…slipping from my grasp…
I know it doesn’t disappear…only in my mind…
Why does it feel like…I forgot what it was like to be held…
Climbing to my Daddy…with tears streaming down my face…
Open up my eyes…show me your grace…
I hurt and tried to cry away my hurt…pretend they don’t exist…
The pain I felt for so long…seems to be getting better…
Whenever I let someone else know…they point me to you Lord…
It seems like its been forever…since I let you hold me in your lap…
Seems like forever since…I listened to your voice…
I hurt…but didn’t allow you to hold me…
To whisper your love for me…you stroking my face…
I couldn’t see because…my fears got in my way…
I couldn’t feel because…my perception of you was skewed…
I couldn’t embrace you…because my hands were full…
Trying to carry my own burdens…when you took them to the cross…

We all long to be held
We all long to be embraced
We all long to be cherished by someone
We all long to be touched in a way that only you can
Why is it that when the way gets hard and lonely
The last place we turn to is you…and the first thing we turn to is ourselves…
Ending up with the longing of wanting to be held…
This world has dropped us…and doesn’t care anymore…
Why do I still trust it…and let it hurt me more…
There are so many things…I wish I could tell you…
You tell me it will be ok…and to trust you with my entire life day to day…

I know in the end…I can’t hide anything from you…
I know in the end…I don’t want to keep anything in the dark…
I know in the end…I’m the one…
Who has not let myself be held…in the love you gave me…
I want to learn what it means to embrace you…I want to learn what it means to be held…

Walking along a body of water…thinking to myself does anyone know the real me…
I wanted to be real…and tell others how I feel…
But until tonight I had chose to keep it all concealed…
It was building up inside…about ready to explode…
I had to do something…before I imploded from the tension…

There was a point in time…when I realized that I needed to be myself…
Its one thing to share in writing…but its another to peel away the mask…
That has kept you hidden…from all the hurt and pain nestled deep inside…
When I looked behind the mask…I didn’t recognize the man I saw…
but I couldn’t be more relieved that…I had figured out who God saw me as…

There are times…when I want to cry myself to sleep…
Blend into the woodwork…and escape from reality…
But there is healing when you open up…the closet that you have created…
Wanting to be real…and not wanting to show others how I really feel…
Realizing that you can’t do both…and I realized tonight that I’m gonna have to fight…

Trying to put together…the pieces of my life…
not knowing if they will fit…and in the end give me a beautiful picture…
Knowing that I am broken…realizing that you have freed me from my sin…
Wanting to put my life back just the way I want…as you tell me that isn’t for me to decide…

There are times…when I try to put together the pieces of my shattered life…
Wanting them to fit just right…the way I want them to fit oh so tight…
I know it’s probably not the way you want it…but as I learn to trust for you to work it out…
Help me realize that there is so much more to life…then the things I try to figure out…

Wanting to fit in…I know I will but I just don’t know where…
It’s hard sometimes to know that you care…but sometimes its hard to know you are there…
I know that there is hope…for me to feel loved…
But sometimes I seem to give up…because I have been shoved into a place I don’t fit…

What am I missing…what do I have to contribute…
What do I have to offer…and what do I have to give…
I know in the end…the picture will become clear…
As I learn what it means to trust you…to bring me clarity…

Inspired by Scott Shipman’s sermon about puzzles, and how each person is part of the big
picture.

My head is spinning and my heart is racing…with a torrent of emotions…
flooding my mind…like hurricane of desire…soaking me to the core…
On a day…that seems I am lost tossing at sea…
Looking for some relief…a shelter from the storm…

I hear a slight whisper…amidst the thunder of my soul…
It’s telling me to stay put…and wait for the storm to cease…
Like the titanic, I feel like…my heart is indestructible at times…
I thought that nothing was gonna phase me…but found my self sinking…

Wanting to move forward…wanting to ignore the warning signs…
Trying to decipher between the rain…and when the sun decides to shine…
Staying put in a world…that runs us over if we are taking it too slow…
Trying really hard…to keep my head above water…

We gotta wait for the right time
We gotta trust God for the words
We gotta believe God for the answers
We gotta have faith He knows what’s best

Inspired by my friendship with Hannah, and the fact I have to wait.

You tell me that if you seek me…you will find me…
but so many times…we look in the wrong places…
only to find you calling out our names…so many times we get weary…
You want my entire heart…you tell me to seek you with all my heart…

Seek my face…and you will find me…
I need your heart…and I’ll make myself visible before you…
I will hem you in…before and after…
Just because you can’t see me right now…I have found you…

I can see you…between your money tears…
I can heal you…of your many hurts…
I want to hold you…and hold you in my hand…
My heart beats for you my child…I hold your heart in mine…

There are many times…when there are things…
that seem to come between us…and there are many times I find you…
I have looked for you my child…and you have found me…
You have been in my sight all along…You are safe with me…

Dedicated to Keturah Leigh Shipman

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:13

By his stripes…we are healed…
who is this man…that was cursed for our transgressions…
Took all my iniquities…and paid for them on the cross…
By your blood…you made me white…

I am healed by his stripes…
I am rescued by the cross…
I am standing in the light…
You are longing for me to come home…

Feeling abandoned…thinking about how you must’ve felt…
When you were alone…dying on the cross that should’ve been my own…
You took my death…just to give me life…
I want to remember…the life you offer of abundance…

You have given me life…when I took it from you…
You gave me freedom…You gave me forgiveness…
You offered to take my cross…and sacrifice your son for me…
I have been trying to understand…that which couldn’t be explained…

5But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.
Isaiah 53:5 (King James Version)

I know that you dance…over me when my heart is glad…
You cry for me…when my soul is sad…
I don’t know how to contain…the joy it brings me to see you dance…
because of the love inside you…overflowing with joy…
My heart is so tender at times…sometimes it cries, and sometimes it dances…

But you Lord are dancing over me…you my God are dancing with me…
You have been my lover…since the beginning of time…
I look forward to the day when…you and I will dance together…
On the streets of gold…just me and my master…
Asking you the question…what brings your heart joy…

You answer me…by saying it is spending time with you…
When you can dance in freedom…because you have found me…
Its been so hard…to see you cry today…
To hear you say…I just want you to go away…
But I was hoping…that my love would bring you back…

You ran away from me…and had forgotten all I was…
I came running toward you…while you were in the distance…
I wanted to tap you on the shoulder…and give you a big hug…
but today…you pushed me aside…
I strayed away…but I know your arms are open wide…

Dedicated to Casi Rainey based on a dance she did to over and over at Student Venture, by three days grace.

I’ve been thinkin’ a lot lately…about the way things could’ve been between us…
I want to learn to let it go…move on with life and roll with the punches…
I was wanting to tell you…how much you hurt me…but I didn’t have the nerve til now…
There was never anything between us…and I don’t think there could ever be…

What is done is done…lets try to move on with life…
I wanted someone to love me…but I found my heart broken…
I placed my hand in yours…for the first and the last time…
I really wish it didn’t have to end…tryin’ to figure out how it began…

I’ve been thinking what could’ve been…The times do you remember when…
We used to have fun together…as a couple, but Christ wasn’t the center…
So what was I thinkin’…that it will work out, based on what I wanted…
I am not sorry that it happened…but sorry it had to hurt…

There are so many emotions…woven deep into my soul…
Because I don’t want anything between us…but it seems like you still want things to happen…
Crying because I say I can’t hang out tonight…I wanted to, but I knew it was better if I didn’t…
I’ve been busy…and its not because I don’t like you, but its because I have been moving on…

A song inspired by my relationship with a girl, that didn’t work out and learning to move on.

As I look to the heavens…watching the fireworks produce explosions…
I try to imagine…what the world was like before you spoke it to be…
With every touch of color…another aspect of your glory revealed…
It’s hard for me to understand…how you can be such an artist…
then turn something small…into a beautiful masterpiece…
I wanted to reach out to the skies…and give you the lies…
People choose to believe…about the formation of the world…
Some say that it was the big bang…and even though I don’t agree…
How can I show them…the beauty in your words…
The cross a perfect representation…of what it means to love…
I try to figure out how do things apply to me…How do people not see…
With each burst of light…I thought to myself…
Could tonight be the night…that I meet my creator…
So many times…we forget to look up…
Many instances we look up to the heavens…and forget about the people around us…
Trying to live the life you have for us…but forgetting to acknowledge the reason…
Behind the explosions in our lives…times when you want to work in our lives…
Take a loud noise…and turn it into something beautiful…

Inspired by the fireworks I saw at Carmel Fest

I am asking you to come fill this place…with your presence…
As I come to this place I see that…your children singing praises…
I didn’t know that so many different faces…could be together with one purpose…
to bring your name praise…to bring your son glory…

I want to sing praises to the only one…who is worthy…
of all I have to give…I love my Father and he loves me…
how could I be so loved…I feel like dancing and I feel like singing…
Walking through the canyons…looking up and seeing stars…

There have been times…when you have seemed so distant…
I knew you were with me…but I had trouble finding you…
Standing right beside me holding my hand…but my vision had become too cloudy…