Jordan Mentz

I sometimes feel like I am falling
I long for someone to hold me
To tell me the stories of when you turned the water into wine
Sitting on my Father’s lap
Listening to Him telling me he loves me

Why is that sometimes I feel so far away
Did I push you away, did I tell you to disappear?
I didn’t mean to do it, but you gently stroked my face
Wiped the tears from my eyes and saw through all my lies
You allow me to snuggle up and fall asleep in your arms

Dad how I long for you to tell me how much you love me
You told me about the one hill, on which you showed your love to me
Nailed up on the cross between two theives,
I tear up whenever you tell it, but I long to listen to you sing
I love you my child, and you are mine

When you feel lonely you can crawl into my lap
When you feel alone ask me and I will tell you stories
There are times when you need to cry
You can look into my eyes and I understand my child
I created you in my image, and now I will show you.

Dedicated to Molly Schwaninger

Sometimes I forget how precious I am to you
There are trials in my life that change my view of reality
I sometimes ride a rollercoaster of emotions, leaving me dizzy and looking for something more
My circumstances are constantly changing around me,
My perception of you sometimes is as wavy as the ocean around me

I know how precious I am to you, but then I seem to forget it too,
I understand you came to die on the cross, because you love me
I want to be somethiing to you, and even though I know that I will be
Feelings so many times seem to guide my mind and doesn’t change reality
Somedays I know your near to me, but others I stray so far away

You are longing for me to come back to you
And my heart is aching because I know I miss you
But my actions lately, have spoken otherwise
So many things that I want to change, but you are the only one who can change what’s inside
I need a change of heart, and I am in need of a brand new start

You gave me grace, when I spit in your face
You love me unconditionally, when my love for you sometimes based on situations
Needing your hand to guide me, but refusing to reach out and take it
The world is hurting, but who will tell them about how precious they are to you if I don’t
I want to tell, but first I need to make things right with you.

I have been searching for so long
Thinking to myself there must be something more
Wanting to move closer to you, but falling away
Trying to figure out your call for my life,
Looking for something to sustain my deepest pain

So I turn to you, and lay it down at the foot of the cross
I have felt so far away, but trying to inch my way back
Never realizing that God was my closest friend
Failing to let Him change my heart, and mind from the inside
Having so many distractions to leave you, and so easily enticed

Didn’t know what God wanted to show me,
I seem to be swayed by the winds that seem to shake me
I didn’t want to say it, but it was bound to happen
I turned my back on you, and chose to walk away
Coming back knowing that you will hold me and embrace me

Teach me what it means to trust in you,
What it means to love without wanting anything in return
Why do I exist and what does my heart mean what it tells me it hurts
I haven’t been the brightest star in the sky,
But I am wondering why my Savior loved me enough to die

What it means to be broken as I can already see the effects of sin
I long to be hidden in you, where no one can find me
They need to look for you in order to find me
Even though I don’t know the way but with each day I trust you each and everyday
I have been trying to figure out what it means to make my faith my own

Taking another step into an unknown realm of reality,
One that no one else can see and I let none inside
It has been so long since I let someone see the real me
I have lost myself in the perception of what others think is real
haven’t had enough time to evaluate what is right and wrong.

As I lay my life down at your feet
You whisper words to me oh so sweet
As I lay awake at night wondering what I did today
I need to quiet down to hear you say I love you
My eyes are shut but may my vision be fixed on you

I look around and I see all your creation
Staring, shouting, there is a God who cares for this lost generation
As lay awake looking into your eyes
Help me remember you paid the price for all my lies
Tired but I find my rest in you,

The days seem to get longer, harder
But as I look to you to entice me, they become easier
I know I am not perfect, but please help me learn from my mistakes
Mishaps happen, but You are there to rescue me when I am sick and crying
Please take my mangled life, bent and dying and replace it with a heart like yours

Pain for the lost who have never heard
A heart for the ill
For You watch them still
A mindset of suffering
Trusting you to bring me through

I lay my life down at the threshing ground
For you to scrape away all the impurities this broken heart has
Please refine me with your blood, rushing all around me with your flood
There is no place that I find more meaning, then meeting with my creator
This is where I find true healing, looking into your eyes I can see you smiling

Open up my ears to hear your whisper
It may come in a flame or a wind, but help tune my ears
As I block out every other fear
I have nothing on my own,
But as I look back at missed opportunities I’ve blown
Bring me back to the cross, where true love was shown for me