Jordan Mentz

I look in your eyes through my tears I see your smiling face as you hold my heart; battered by the storms of life as my hands are outstretched not knowing what I needed to grab a hold of. Life has taught me many valuable lessons; I can’t do it on my own as I hold your hand you tell me you will help me through the trials I am facing. I am shaking as I learn the meaning of trust is, your strong arms gently embrace my soul and let me feel safe. As you hold me I feel valued and cherished; I feel secure and loved. There are times when my perceptions shield my eyes from the truth. Even when my day seems cloudy you help me find the rainbow that appears because the sun is shining somewhere. The calmness that I feel as you hold me gently lifts me over the obstacles that stand in my way and keep me from the truth; your voice gently whispers your arms are wrapped around me when I feel like giving up and I feel like throwing in the towel it is then I remember to look up as you gently hold me and tell me it’s gonna be alright.

Your past shouldn’t affect your future dreams
Your past shouldn’t be remembered by you if you’ve repented

Dream big, beleive God will help you get there
Dream big, believe God has placed those dreams inside
Dream big, because we serve a God who can make your dreams a reality
Dream big, because we serve a God who can align your heart with his

You shouldn’t get down if you feel your dreams have been thwarted
You shouldn’t give up on your dreams because you’ve hit an obstacle
You shouldn’t have to supress the dream while you go through life

God knew your dreams from the beginning,
If you can achieve your dreams in your own power, then you need to dream bigger
You serve a God who is bigger than everyone of the obstacles we face
You serve the one who knows what dreams will bring Him the most glory

Every day I wake up and realize that I am in a battle for my heart
There are times when I feel victorious but other times I lose my will to fight
I wonder if there is a reason I feel such opposition; a battle for my soul
Every moment of everyday is a battle that has already been won by the cross

The battle ragin’ like a fire in the forest; burnin’ through the trees that keep my vision hazy
The fire will not go out; because my heart is at stake but has already been redeemed
A bloody battle; my savior died and defeated death
Broken by my sin; getting back up and fallin’ prey again

For my battle you tell me I will need to take up your armor
The helmet of salvation; to protect my mind from lies
The boots of the gospel; so I may find peace
The belt of truth around my waist; to remind me who I am to you
The breastplate of righteousness; to guard my heart against temptation
The Sword of the spirit; the word of God
The shield of faith; to extinguish the flaming arrows of the evil one

The battle for my war torn heart; when I feel like giving up has already been fought
The battle for my soul; when I feel resistance is futile has already been purchased
The battle for my mind; is fought from the trenches every thought held captive
The battle for my strength; I feel weak, but you’re my strength

You have been my truest ally; You have been been my closest friend
I was once a convict held in bondage; an inmate longing to be set free
My heart a was a prisoner of war; wounded by the fall
You have restored me; and given me a new mind

I felt like I was far away; but you beckoned me to come
I felt like I had failed; you brushed me off and helped me up again
I felt like I had nothing left to offer; you told me you gave your all for me
I felt like I had nothing left to give you; you told me to touch your scars and remember
I felt like I had been drained of everything; you told me to come to you and be filled
I felt like I had nothing; you told me that you gave me everything

Sometimes I feel like this battle will get the best of me
Sometimes I feel like this battle has no definite outcome
Sometimes I feel like this plan of attack is strange; but you have taught me to trust
Sometimes I feel like this pain is too much to bear; you have bore it for me
Sometimes I feel like this hurt only happens to me; you have felt everything
Sometimes I feel like this past is too much to look past; and you show me that you don’t keep track of the things I’ve already confessed
Sometimes I feel like this burden of my sin will crush me; you took the burden on your son

A story is told with each breath that we are given
A story is told with every life that is bein’ lived

We sometimes get so caught up in writing our own story with a fairy tale ending
We forget how the story was written from the very beginning

Trying to write our own story will end it pre-maturely
Trying to figure out how it’s gonna turn out will leave us feeling empty

The story you tell is your own; a reflection of the Love that you’ve been shown
The story you tell may be different; it’s hard to see how all the pieces fit together

Only you and God can write it; Please don’t try to end it
Only you and God can tell it the way it happened; there is healing in sharing

Did you wonder if anyone would remember if you were to come back
The God who made you loves you; you can let him hold you

Shattered hearts because of broken dreams; hurting in a way that no one else knows
You’re afraid because of your past; fearful of what your future may look like

You don’t have to write the story that God has already written
You don’t have to live in fear that you won’t make it

A battle waging within my soul; wanting to do what’s right but choosing what is wrong
A war of my mind; knowing what the right thing to do is
Walls are going up around me; yet I am afraid they will crush all I am
Trapped inside a self inflected cell; longing to make it out unscathed;

Trapped inside is a sensitive heart; trying to heal
Trapped inside is a world of emotions; waiting to be expressed
Trying to figure out the real me; the one inside of me
Trying to escape; trying to break free from this cage that has me doubting

Lookin’ out at the world around me; but not allowing them to see the real me
Tryin to recognize the person that I’ve been hiding; been locked up in a closet
There are times that I just want to push through these walls; break free from bondage
I keep on marching; but the walls are closing in

There are times that I just want to curl up and cry; why is it so hard to be real
So many times I have the fear of rejection; but never putting myself out there
There is only one thing that matters; that my Savior loves me
He will knock down the walls I made; if I am open and honest with myself and Him

Trapped inside a closet; a slave to myself
Locked inside a dungeon; While Christ holds the key
I am breakin’ down; God will break these walls
I am at the end of myself; nowhere else to turn

The world tells us that our value is based on what we do
The world places the worth of life upon what you’ve accomplished
I’ve been told that I’ll never be good enough and the truth is I don’t have to be
My salvation isn’t found in what I’ve done, but in what has been done for me
It’s a lot like you’ve been given a gift that you didn’t deserve; but that’s the beauty of it
Sometimes, we get it all confused and think that God wants us only when we’re better
That idea that we are messed up that once made us want to hide; is now the thing that frees us and allows us to accept what He did for us
People want to hide instead of come out in the open; but there is grace that meets us
People try to do better and are frustrated to come up short they feel worthless
The Gospel is not just a list of rules; it is enough because we can’t be
Jesus paid the price on the cross; so we wouldn’t have to
He put our sins upon the cross with him; they died a long with him.
Why is it so hard to grasp the reality that the reason we are who we are is because of who God is. We aren’t defined by what we do, because if we were I think we would be constantly disappointed. Have you thought about the truth that God has loved us from the very beginning? We do not have to earn anything; we just need to aknowledge the fact we are bums; but we also have to accept the gift of God.

Inspired by the Audio Blog Over and Underneath by Mike Donehey from Tenth Avenue North

Lookin’ up at ceiling thinkin to myself of the day and what it held
Had I accomplished alot or was it just one of those days
The scene is quiet and the mood serene
I have a decision to make, do I let my weary mind wander; I take every thought captive
Tryin’ to remain focused on the one who gave me another breath
So many times, I forget to reflect on the things I take for granted
I choose not to praise because my life isn’t going as I wanted
I choose to ignore you because my world is already too noisy

During the night when the moon shines the brightest
During the night when my mind wants to find peace
During the night when I have time to think
During the night when I have some time to pray and write songs of praise to you
These are the times, the times that I treasure. You and me can talk together

The time has come for me to close my eyes
The time has come and my eyes are filled with tears
The time has come and my heart is exhausted
The time has come and my soul longs for everlasting life
The time has come when my Savior is the closest

If you knew how I felt about you and how you make me feel on the inside
If you knew that I wanted to be your friend and really get to know you

Would you want to get to know me
Or would you turn and run away

If you knew what was going on inside my mind
If you knew that I would be there to listen

Would your view of me be different if you knew who I was on the inside
Would your view of me be tainted by the way other boys treated you

Who would know the real you; Who would know the real me
Who could’ve guessed the outcome; if you give love a chance

Tryin’ so hard to get your attention
Realizin’ in the end I couldn’t buy your affection
Schemin’ in my mind rehearsing the words I wanted to say
Knowin’ in the back of my mind they just wouldn’t come out today
Standin’ next to you with a puzzled look upon my face
Lookin’ for the next thing to fill the empty space

There have been times when you were told you mattered to someone
There have been times when you thought that couldn’t be further from the truth
There have been times when you thought that no one would even notice if you left
There have been times when you thought that there was nothin’ more to see

You better believe that there is a God who made you
You better believe that there is a God who loves you
You better believe that in the midst of every trial he will be there to embrace you
You better believe that there is a place on this earth for you
You better believe that this life is far from over
You better believe that no matter what happens you remain His child

So many times my view of myself gets clouded
I’ve messed up so many times but your blood has covered all my being

Some day I hope that I may see myself the way you see me
Some day soon I hope that I can see others through your eyes
Some days I don’t feel like I am close to you, and you are no where to be found
Then I realize it is me that is playing hide-and-seek with you

I have no reason to hide, for you’ve called me out of hiding
I have no reason to be afraid, for you have conquered fear
I have no reason to be fearful of the end, because you have given me life
I have no reason to live in my sin, because you have given me a new heart

The way you see me is a pure and spotless lamb
The way you see me as a child, wanting to spend time with me
To tell me the story’s of old, as I sit with you by the fire
To tell me the way you love me, and are longing to be with me