• The calm

    Tryin’ hard to see what lays in front of me
    My eyes are clouded over because of the tears that keep on fallin
    As you tell me, it’s ok to cry for something that is so much a part of you
    I know you’re barely holdin’ on for life, but know that I’m holding you in my palm
    I know that the waves of life have left you gasping for life
    I know that the squalls that seem to sink the ship you’re on seem so big

    Remember I am the one who calms my child
    The calm before the storm; can be yours during
    I can comfort you; but you have to let me in
    I can heal you; you have to give me your life
    I can see you; even when it’s dark and stormy
    I’ll breathe my life into your dying lungs

    You don’t have to let me in
    You don’t have to let me in
    But you can if you want
    But you can if you want
    You’ve been running; running away from peace
    I am longing for you to come back home

    Trying to figure out the way is much easier if you have a light
    If you will let me, I will be your lifeboat; I can be your light house
    I am not gonna force my way upon you; it’s your choice to open up the door
    I will be waiting; all you need to do is ask
    I am your father; you are my child
    I want to tell you stories; I am inviting you to sit on my lap

     
  • People

    People can bring healing but it’s because of people I am hurting
    People are capable of loving, but I really can’t see what it really means
    Til I look at the Cross, and see you on top of Calvary’s tree
    People can use their words to bring people joy,
    I feel like they use words as a way of revenge
    A way to get back at others
    A way to try to ease away the pain that they feel
    Because if they can hurt someone else, it seems like they hurt less
    Tryin to use your tongue to bring life, is much harder than bringing death

    People can be stubborn
    People can be hurt
    People can be forgiving
    People can be loving

    Trying to figure out what is going on before it is too late
    Tryin’ to decide another’s fate, by speaking words of hate
    To regain the trust that was broken by the words that brought you pain
    Figurin’ out who you can trust, and who will turn their back on you

    Sharing the things that keep your heart beating,
    Can be the very things that you learn to hate
    I don’t like sharing pieces my heart
    Because they may return as shattered glass
    Trying to make sense of everything

    If people really knew what their words could do
    Would people tell eachother that we mattered
    Would people use their words for good
    When I look at the words that were meant to heal
    I find that my heart is healing more than I thought

     
  • Have my heart

    I know I asked you into my heart, but I am ready to let you have my heart
    Everything inside, that I’ve tried to hide for so long is finally comin’ out
    The open is where healing can take place all you need to do is let me in

    I know there are reasons my child for the walls that you create
    To protect yourself from getting hurt but hiding from me is not the answer
    There are things that have hurt you and I feel your pain

    Have my heart oh Lord, because it was once broken
    Have my heart because I know you can heal it
    I give you my heart because I would like you to hold it

    I want you to have every part of my life
    Because I know you deserve it
    You are my king, and I give you everything.

    The only thing left to give you is myself
    The only thing I have left to offer
    Only you can heal my life

    I’ve never fully surrendered my entire life to you
    I lived under the illusion that I had
    I am coming out of the shadows and bringin’ you my heart

    Inspired by Katie Cavalli’s statement “I know He’s in your heart.  But let Him HAVE your heart

     
  • Take me away

    Take me away to a quiet place
    Where I can rest and dwell in your grace
    Look upon your splendor and be filled with awe and wonder
    I want to learn what it means to rest in your arms
    Running myself down only leaves me feeling helpless
    I know that I need to rest, and spend time with my Father
    Trying to figure out the reason that I am out here
    Seeing my life affect the lives of the little ones
    The lives of my co-workers, and the lives of the parents

    Take me away to the place where I can see your face
    Take me to a place where all that is on my mind is you
    I know that you want me to rest but I know I’ve done my best
    I sometimes forget that I need to help myself, so I can better serve the kids
    Taking a day to reflect on everything that has happened
    Since the day I first came out here
    A time to come back and let God draw me near

    Take me away from the things that distract me
    Take me away where I can talk to you and be at peace
    Take me away Lord to a place that I can let you hold me
    There are alot of times when I push other things ahead of you.
    There are times when I need to just let you cuddle with me

     
  • Tummy Time

    I want to trust in the way that little children do
    I want to be able to be open to the point where I can be transparent
    Crawling, crying, longing to be held
    I need tummy time so I can learn how to take the next step
    I have been so hesitant because I didn’t want to fail
    But by falling down I’ve learned that we all need tummy time
    I want to feel connected, close, loved and cherished
    We always know that we need something, but sometimes we cannot
    communicate it with others clearly
    When I cry, sometimes I feel helpless
    Sometimes I feel relaxed
    Other times I feel indifferent
    There are times when I feel energized
    Sometimes when I cry I want to fall asleep
    But we all need tummy time, and we all need someone to hold us
    We all need to learn how to crawl so that we can learn to walk
    I want to grow close to my Father, but I keep pushing Him away
    Praying but not knowing what to ask for
    Knowing that God knows, but sometimes stumbling over my thoughts
    I know what I need but a lot of times I don’t ask because I am afraid
    There are so many things that seem to distract me from the source I need
    I want to be open, I want to be free
    I want to learn to walk but first I must crawl
    I need to lay on my tummy and let someone love me by leaving me there
    I may not like tummy time, but I know thats what I need.

    Inspired by Bethany’s Devotional given on July 7, 2009

     
  • Devotional for Kids Care Counselors

    Devotional for 7/6/09

    If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. If he had a wallet, your photo would be in it.  He sends you flowers every spring.  He sends you a sunrise every morning.  Whenever you want to talk, He listens.  He could live anywhere in the universe but He chose your heart.  Face it friend, He is crazy about you.  Working with children can be so rewarding, but it can also be very tiring.  There are times when we sometimes question, “Am I really making a difference in these little ones lives?” I have noticed that each of us have a story to tell, we all have learned lessons that we can share and for everyone it is very personal.  Within the first year of my life, I had 5 brain surgeries because I have a condition called hydrocephalus.  I spent the first four weeks of my life blind, and after numerous surgeries I was able to see.  As I was growing up, I realized that there was a purpose for me being alive. If I would’ve been born five years earlier, I wouldn’t have survived because the technology used to save my life was new.  I grew up in a Christian home, and I had always learned in Sunday school that I needed to make my own decision.  On my 4th birthday, I was out with my family at a Pizza Hut.  My brother simply asked me if I wanted to go to heaven or hell.  After describing both to me the best that he could, I told him I wanted to go to heaven.  I prayed and asked Jesus into my heart, and that was the best b-day present I have ever gotten.  Some people have the misconception that asking Jesus into your hearts is an end instead of a beginning.  Following Jesus is something you have to commit to every single day.  People think that it will be an easy road.  I want to tell you that it won’t always be, but it will be worth it.  God didn’t promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way. Have you ever wondered how God could you bring you through something, and felt like He didn’t want anything to do with the situation? I’ve felt this way, only to find out that He loves me, and wants me to spend time with Him.  I had a very tough time discerning if God wanted me out here because things just kept falling apart.  After 35 e-mails, of trying to figure out if I had housing, I knew that the moment I was told I did I was supposed to be out here because Southwest had an amazing deal from Indianapolis to Denver.

    God has given me so much to be thankful for, and yet a lot of times I don’t remember to express my praise to God.  Matthew 10:42 says,  “And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is my disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward.”

    Teaching the truth is essential especially in the lives of children because they are still so pure and innocent.  We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.  Isaiah 53:6.  But there is hope for us, because God is with us no matter what.

    We need to remember that the parents, are entrusting their most prized possessions to us while they are here.  They expect their little kiddos to be brought up in the way of the Lord, and by talking to them we can help them begin to give them a glimpse of how much God loves them, and longs to hear, be with them.

    Here is a poem I wrote

    Jesus told us to love the children

    Love one another, and let the little ones come

    The world told has told me that children are a burden

    Another child they see as a mistake

    Jesus’ heart is for the little ones, and he gave us the chance to serve them

    Love overflows my heart when I think of the impact I can have

    I know that I am made to love

    I know that I am made to serve

    I stand amazed in your presence

    I fall to my knees in wonder

    As I gaze at your splendor

    I want to crawl into your lap

    Tell me a story

    You have shown me the pictures

    You’ve trusted me with your children

    You’ve blessed me with a heart to serve

    There are many times I want to express the way I am feeling to God and others, but I am afraid to.  The kids tell us exactly what is on their minds, and I hope that one day I can communicate with others and God in the same way.   God knows my heart, and He enjoys it when we tell Him what is on it.  When I cry he tells us that “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4

    “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled” Matthew 5:6
    “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” Matthew 5:8.

    Have you ever felt like a little kid, not knowing how to communicate your needs with the people who want to help you.  As you grow older, you start placing less trust in others and more in what you can do.  This shouldn’t be because as a child knows what they need, they are expectant on others to provide for their needs.  Why is that the older we get; the less dependant on others we become?  We should become more dependent on God with every step.  Children don’t really have a reason not to trust the people taking care of them, because they are not wounded by the world.  It makes me so happy that we find our worth not in what others think of us but rather we find our worth in who God has made us to be.

    Lots of times we try to hide from God, but we know that He already knows.  Little children are so open that sometimes they tell on themselves.  I wish that we would be that open with Jesus.

    In conclusion, remember we are making a difference in not only little kids lives but also the parents.  God is using us as His vessels and we are loving them.

     
  • My heart is…

    There are times when I go to bed at night thinking to myself
    Could anyone ever love me regardless of my past
    The times that I feel so far away
    It is then you show me how close you really are
    My heart is breaking because I thought I lost my love
    My heart is broken because I got it all backwards
    I found you when I didn’t expect you to come through
    I looked for you admist all my pain
    I looked for you in light of my faults
    Trying hard to persevere but constantly giving up
    When my love feels empty, I say the words but can’t back it up

    I know my heart is safe with you
    I know my heart is resting in you
    So why do I so often wonder if anyone cares
    Why do I wonder if I can take it much longer,
    I know I am asking the wrong question because you make me stronger
    You tell me that I don’t have to take life’s burdens upon myself
    When I wonder if anyone is listening
    You gently remind me of a place I can find true rest
    Within your hands as I put my fingers where the nails were

    Tears fill my eyes and I can barely let out a whimper
    I know that you see me as yours
    I know that you hold me and your forgiveness stretches beyond the farthest shores
    I wonder if there is anymore I can do and you tell me the answer is no
    Sometimes I don’t let you to hold me because I am afraid you condemn me
    But you remind me that my heart is pure
    My heart is white before you, washed in your blood
    Though I betrayed with a kiss,
    I know that you want me to come back
    I know that you want to spend with me
    I keep pushing your hand away, because I feel crushed but I know that it’s the world’s system that is making me feel the way I do

    Trying to cast the blame on someone other than myself
    Trying to throw myself out of the shadows and into the light
    But finding it difficult to be real
    Trying to hide the way I really feel
    There is no more hiding because I know my heart is precious
    I know that my heart is beating for a purpose
    I am having trouble seeing it because I see so little of the picture

     
  • Have been there

    With everything that happens, and I don’t seem to understand
    Not knowin’ the reason, sometimes leaves me feelin’ hopeless
    Tryin’ to shake the feelin’ that I am worthless
    I didn’t know what it meant to be loved
    I didn’t want to embrace something I could not see
    Something bigger in scheme, and somethin’ bigger than me
    I knew there was something more out there
    I knew that nothin’ in my life could ever compare
    To the pain you took for me on Calvary

    You tell me that whatever I’m goin’ through,
    You’ve been there too
    Even when I couldn’t see you because I was so confused
    I knew exactly what you would say because you’ve been there
    I didn’t know how to recognize your presence,
    But you offered me saving grace and gave me your hand
    If I didn’t think that you understood, you remind me You’ve been there

    Tryin’ to see you through the pain that is in my life
    Tryin’ to put the pieces back together; you tell me You’ve been there
    Wanting something to grab a hold of when it all seemed to slip away
    You tell me that you’ve been there
    You tell me not to worry because You’ve been there

     
  • If I say something

    Lots of times I would like to tell you exactly what I’m thinking
    But am too scared to mutter even a single word
    I don’t say somethin’ because I am afraid you’ll judge me
    There have been times when the silence has been so piercing
    My ears were left ringin’ and my head was left spinnin’
    We all have issues that are hard for us to talk about
    We all have problems that hurt us to share
    We know what it’s like bein’ hurt by someone who you thought cared

    Sometimes our longing for the cure to misery, leaves us hurting more
    There are times when I wish I would’ve said something
    At times I wish I would’ve listened long enough to the voice in the silence
    If I say something, will I be judged or is it other way around
    The things left unsaid will be what haunts me in the future
    Faced with a decision am I willing to take a step toward bein’ vulnerable

    So many times I am scared of what others say
    But could it be others are afraid because of the words I don’t
    I find it hard to write sometimes, because I feel its been said before
    A little inspiration goes a long way, when you embrace it
    There are times when we lose our motivation
    There are times when we want others to hear us but we don’t speak
    People don’t like awkward silence,
    but our voice is heard loudest in the quietness of our heart.

    Pushing it all aside
    Pushing it all away
    Putting stock in the words we don’t say
    Thinkin’ the gospel will be spread another day
    What I don’t write, will go unwritten
    What I don’t say may go unspoken
    What I want to say may be misinterpreted and twisted some way
    Am I willing to take the risk
    Sayin what I feel and feeling what I’m saying

     
  • Alot of things

    A lot of things are going on inside of my mind
    There are a lot of distractions that get in my way of coming to you
    You know I didn’t mean to
    I knew I didn’t want to
    So here I stand not on my own two feet
    But within the power of your grace
    To see you face to face
    I want you to know I love you
    I want you to know that I care and I need you
    But lately things have gotten crazy
    I didn’t know that it was me straying farther
    I realize that even though I sometimes push you away
    You don’t go away and you want me to come back
    You created me for a relationship with you
    It is when I look for you in the midst of this present darkness
    That I truly find you
    The times that seem like the darkest
    The times that feel like I am the farthest
    It is in those times that you can draw me the closest