Written when I was dealing with ending it all
I look in the mirror/all I see is a mask/because I have been hurting/what would the world say/if they found out I was not OK/I need to some searching/because I am looking for the man/in the mirror/not the one behind the mask/I have forgotten the real me/because I wanted the fake me/I cannot remember the last time/I saw myself the way you see me/everything white as snow/washed in your blood/you see me as holy/when I look in the mirror I feel dirty/but I cannot cry enough/because sometimes the person inside is hurting deeply/
Behind the mask/lies a broken heart/with my eyes tearing up/I am on the brink of a break through/either I let you take the mask away/and the world will see/the joy that I received when I didn’t care/about the mask because I knew who I was/or I could choose to remain hidden/I want to open up my life/lay it before your throne/when I was thinking about ending it all/then wondering if the mask was in the end worth it/I didn’t want the world to see the man in the mirror/because I hated who I was behind the mask/as I open up my life/to let the world see/who God created me to be/
If you ask me/if I am ok/I could tell you/that everything is fine/I put up a front/to try to deal with the pain/because it hurts to be real/letting the world know the way you feel/healing cannot start until you see your problem/I have cried myself to sleep/because I wanted to end it/with the click of a button/and then I found my Bible/I have forgotten what it was like/to live without a mask/the pain still remains/because a mask just hides it/from the rest of the world/there are many times when/I have forgotten the hurting man behind the mask/
I am fighting a battle/with my life on the line/the masked man is winning/because I have been hiding/so long that I have accepted a fake/I know that on my knees/is the safest place to be/because you are close to the broken hearted/it has been so long I forgot how these thoughts started/thoughts of suicide and hiding my pain behind the mask/I don’t know why/I have tried to hide/because I have been found/I want to come back/as I jump into your arms/I want my life to bring you glory/and I need you to teach me to take away the mask/