Beneath the surface

Like a ship that’s stranded out at sea…searching for the lighthouse…tossed off course by the winds that come against me…sometimes I choose to try to sail away from the light…because my heart is broken beneath the surface…tell me that I matter…tell me I’ll be okay….

I try to maintain my composure…I try to limit what others get to see of me…I don’t want them to ask…I think it’s better if they don’t know…the storms that are raging within my soul…because I don’t want them to see…because I think that I’m too far gone…

Do I think that I’m better…if they don’t know my secrets…Do I think my problems will disappear…if I pretend that my imperfections don’t exist…Do I think that they will judge me…for the broken man within…the depravity of my secret sin…I know it’s hard for me to let other’s in…

Beneath the surface…I am not okay…Beneath the surface the hull of my ship has hole…I sometimes pretend that I am not the way I am…because I am scared that people will reject me…beneath the surface of my so called “perfect” life…do I let others know…

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