Written when I had a lot of pain that I was trying to store up inside, because I didn’t want people to know the hell I was going through.
I go to things that will never satisfy the longing in my heart
I tend to go to things that are only temporary fixes
I don’t want others to know the real problems because they may leave and not come back
It’s hard for me to reflect
All I want to do is deflect
All is well on the outside
On the inside Hell is playing out in my mind
I don’t want to be a burden to you, because my life gets heavy
Don’t want to ask for sympathy, knowing it may be the end of me trying to pretend
If you want to get to know me, try walking beside me instead of looking down on me
If you want to help me, sometimes I just need someone to listen
In a world that feels like it needs to offer advice because it seems like the right thing to do
Sometimes venting is like therapy it’s hard for me to be real when I’m afraid you’ll judge me
Days I feel like I don’t want to live
Days I feel like I don’t have anything else to give
Days are hard nights are rough, tossing and turning
My mind running in different directions
My heart in millions of pieces, but too tired to attempt to gather them
My soul is need of healing, but all I can do is stare at the ceiling
I go to my room, even though I want to write but sometimes I can’t
I try to express my heart, but ask myself who would ever want to read it
Is it because I ran away from my insecurities
Is it because I tried to cover up the pain driving me to my breaking point
Is it because I never addressed the pain that is tearing me up inside
Is it because I failed you by not being there for you when you needed a friend
There must be a reason that I am feeling this way
There must be an explanation for the vibes your giving off
There must be answers for the questions that I’m asking
There must be someone who needs some encouragement