Am I okay

Written at a time when I didn’t know the answer to this simple question.

Am I okay without your friendship in my life
Would I end up better off, if I tried to move on quicker
Would I be okay, if you told me off because I upset you
Would I be okay, if you didn’t tell me why things went sour between us

Am I okay with living with myself, knowing you probably had questions too
Am I okay with letting go of the one thing in my life I thought was constant
Am I okay with sharing my hurts with someone else, because I don’t know if I can
Am I okay with hurting by myself, and thinking about all the things that could’ve been

Will I answer myself with truth when the world is screaming lies
Will I answer someone else’s questions with the same honesty I gave to you
Will I try and hide and try to pretend that your words didn’t affect me the way they did
Will I try to blame myself for the ways things ended up

It may be a while before I ask myself that question and know the answer right away
It may take some time for my broken heart to heal from the void you left me with
It may take some tough conversations to be able to move past but I think it’s for the best
It may take some awkward conversations that I really didn’t want to have to make me whole

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