I thought if

EMOTION : NUMB

I thought if I made myself numb the pain would go away
I thought if I would get better by keeping my feelings buried
I thought if I could pretend it was all right I would somehow heal
I thought If I should share my feelings I would be judged on my intentions

If I dug up my past it would be too painful
If I tried to understand the pain I would be worse off
If I cried myself to sleep and let others in would I be considered weak
If I lied to myself enough, I would get some relief from the hell I was living

I thought it wouldn’t hurt that you treated me like dirt
I thought if I ignored it long enough, it would somehow make it better
I thought if I could sleep, the pain would subside
I thought that I was strong enough to heal on my own

If I am being honest, I am hurting on the inside
Since I am being honest, I need some help to heal
When I am being truthful, I need a team to support me
When push comes to shove, I will not be the one being pushed around anymore

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